As boys, we fought to keep this flame from being extinguished by the world around us.

"Be the best. Quit crying. Don't overthink it. Take it like a man. You need to stand up for yourself. Leave the weak behind. Try harder next time. Don't apologize; he'll get over it."

For some of us, the flame was snuffed out by abuse, by relentless bullying, or by physical pressure. For others, it gradually dimmed through societal expectations.

For the gay men among us, we fought back all the harder and built a wall of defiance around the flame. And in creating a unique sense of self, the flame survived into adulthood where it still fuels our inner and outer lives.

 
Suggested Reading: "Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men's Lives" by Walt Odets